Excuses or results?

That's what it really comes down to isn't it? You can make excuses for why things didn't work out the way you wanted them to:

I can't get that 30 minutes of cardio in because I'm tired.
I can't eat healthy because I don't have time.
I am too lazy to exercise.


All things I've heard before. The first statement came from someone who was unhappy with the fact that he huffs and puffs walking up a flight of stairs. The second one came from a random person asking me why he can't get abs. The third came from my mother.

All but the last person (my mom) complain they can't get results. Maybe this is a little wrong to say... but for the average person, it comes down to one simple truth: you can have results or excuses, but you cannot have both.


If you're not doing exactly what you know you should be doing, then don't complain that you're not seeing the results you want to see. It's never going to work that way. It doesn't work that way in any aspect of your life.

Success isn't luck. True success is earned. The currency is blood, sweat, tears, sleep deprivation... in short,  the price for long term success is immediate sacrifice. You can have all the chips, ice cream, and cookies you want right now if you can accept that it will most likely make you more unhappy than happy in the long run... If you can accept that it will affect your overall health one day.

Success is a decision.

Just like how it's never too late to give up a bad habit it's never too late to pick up a positive attitude either. So when you wake up tomorrow morning and you're "too tired" to hit the gym or make eggs instead of eating cereal. Ask yourself: Do I want  results or do I want to make excuses?

Sometimes you need to fail

Failing is probably the best lesson I have ever learned. In life, not achieving a goal the first time you set out to try gives us an opportunity to try a different way. If you want it bad enough, you'll find a way. If you don't, you'll find excuses everywhere you look. The second greatest thing you'll ever learn is not to go looking for things you don't want to find. Don't set out looking to not accomplish a goal. Set out to achieve it by any means.

In the spirit of New Years Resolutions (and of course fitness blogging), the first thing that comes to mind is my quest for a stronger dead lift. I don't think I've ever not pushed myself in the gym. I don't think there's really ever been times where I've felt as though I got nothing accomplished. Even on a bad lifting day, it's an opportunity to assess my weaknesses.

Like the day I attempted and could not break 315 off the ground, and then proceeded to fail a 275 dead lift. The same lift I've done countless times before. Really, all I wanted to do was kick the damn barbell across the room from being so frustrated.

In all honesty, the failed lift just showed me where exactly my max was. It had been months since I've attempted a lift I couldn't (for lack of better words) muscle my way through. I needed that. I needed a new goal. I needed to feel the weight, to know that the bar was too far from my shins to start, to know that my ass wasn't low enough to start, to know that my grip wasn't up to par. I needed to learn all of those things again. I needed to keep it in perspective.

We all have good weeks, we all have bad weeks. No two weeks are the same. I don't care if your goal is to lose 10 lbs or gain 10 lbs. I don't care if your goal is to embark on a new career, move out of your house, or repair a damaged relationship. Where there is a will, there is a way.

If something isn't working for you, then maybe it's time to try a new method. If your job sucks, work on finding another. If you hate where you're living, then work on finding a new place to live. Damaged relationship? Keep the door open and keep trying to communicate. Failed lift? Assist work and new program.

It's January! The month of new beginnings. Don't be afraid to do something that scares you. Turn a negative experience into a positive one and use it to propel you forward. No matter what, keep moving forward.

My secret to happiness

This has been one insane year for me. Well, the last quarter of the year has been insane for me. I will put this out there... In the last quarter of the year I ended a toxic relationship (several actually), got into a car accident, became briefly homeless, and acquired a second job. But, in going through all of those things... I reconciled with my long-estranged family, established new healthy relationships, and shed the last ties I had to my previous unhappy life. It all goes to show there are always good things with the bad.

Call me an eternal optimist.
Call me idealistic.
Call me positive.

I've somehow managed to make it through this year keeping a smile on my face 90% of the time, laughing and joking on a daily basis. I'll let you in on a secret. The secret to happiness is perspective.

Sure, it's been said before. I'm sure all of your friends, family, etc. have said it to you. But let's be real. 99% of the problems you're going through? Yeah, someone has already been there and done that. So little things like having to purchase a new car, ending a relationship that isn't really good for you anyway, finding a new place to live, etc. are just that. Little things.

You know you're going to pull through. You know you're going to eventually get done the things that need to be done. You know you're going to eventually get to exactly where you need to be. So why stress it?

Close your eyes, put in the work, and let the benefits roll in. Take the obstacles in stride, and remember it's all balanced. Sometimes, difficulties arise to keep us in check... You'd never know how sweet honey is without knowing the bitterness of vinegar.

Keep smiling!

You don't always get what you want

Life has a funny way of proving to me over and over again, it's not about what I want... ever. In fact, my life has very rarely ever given me what I wanted, just what I need. And maybe that's not such a bad thing. One of these days, I might finally understand how to want the things I need, and not want the things that can be detrimental to my overall wellbeing.

Let me throw this out there. I have decided at the ripe young age of 25, to start my life over. People that claim there is no reset button are just too scared to take the metaphorical dive off the cliff.

Once you cut out all the stuff that is weighing you down, it's a lot easier to keep moving forward.

Stuff. Sounds pretty general right? But let's think about this for a minute. Unhealthy relationships, poor resting habits, poor eating habits... Find the things that you have always hated and let it go. There are lots of things that people have said to me recently that come to mind:

"First you gotta know what you want, then you can go about getting what you want."
"All relationships are just relationships, even marriages."
"There's no reason you shouldn't be a killer."

Find people who are going to be positive forces in your life, and keep them around. It's as simple as that. And with those positive forces, you'll find a sense of peace.

That's probably been the biggest lesson I learned in 2011: I won't really get what I want, but life has a funny way of giving me exactly what I need, when I need it.

So go on, cut out the stuff in your life weighing you down... And feel free to fly. You'll never regret you did it.

Mirror mirror on the wall...

Mirror mirror on the wall... Tell me what I should like about myself.

It's amazing isn't it? By others' standards I should be really proud of how far I've come. I went from curling 15 lbs as a working weight with cheat a year ago to 20 lbs clean. I can deadlift over 200 lbs when a year ago I barely knew what that even was.

Then why am I so disappointed? Why can I only focus on my current goal and not see how many other goals I've already accomplished? What is so hard about accepting what I have?

This doesn't just apply to my training either. My entire life tends to be like this. I teeter back and forth on the cusp of success and failure. The weirdest thing is I will always acknowledge my fear of failure, but sometimes I think I also fear success. It's as if the taste of success will be so sweet but, I know it comes with the warning of the fall that may come. I'm 99% sure this feeling isn't unique to me.

It's a balance game.
It's a challenge.

In my quest to obtain a greater understanding of myself, I have come to accept that I will always be a person that is chasing the next big goal, the next big shining achievement. And that's ok. However, I still need to learn to value the things I have already accomplished, and not take it all for granted.

I need to accept that fearing success and failure will only leave me paralyzed, unable to move forward in my progression and achieve the things I know I can achieve.

I accept that fear is normal. But fear will never define me.

Mirror, mirror, on the wall... Thank you for reminding me I am a smart, strong, and independent woman.
Mirror, mirror... Thank you for showing me I am only as strong as I allow myself to be. 

Some days you just don't want to

Julia Roberts opened her mouth and made a hideous buzzing sound. No matter how much I screamed at her, she wouldn't stop! Oh wait, I must be dreaming.

I cracked open one sandpaper-like eyelid at a time, and waited for my eyes to focus. 5:39AM. The bane of my existence. My arm instinctively swung out to squat at the noise machine until I realized I had no choice today. Vacation is over.

Tragic isn't it?

I stumbled my way into the rest of my apartment to survey the disaster it had become in a matter of days. Boxes, boxes, unplugged appliances, duffle bags, plastic tote bins everywhere! All I wanted was to turn around and climb back into my now-lukewarm bed. But no, I must press on. Movers will be here in a few hours.

I downed a few glasses of water and measured my oats, whey, and blueberries. Nuked the whole thing and sat down to eat breakfast. It's times like these when I want to cheat on myself. It would've been so easy to drive to the nearest Dunkin Donuts or Starbucks and buy a breakfast sandwich and a coffee. It's not even like it's far or even expensive...

But even on days when I don't want to, I know I have to.

So I sat, shoveled my oats into my mouth and forced myself to chew and swallow. Five bites later, I started to feel better. Halfway through my breakfast I started to feel like myself again. Granted, this is more tired and cranky version of myself, but still it's me.

Sometimes we dont want to live the lifestyle. It's so easy to cheat here and there, and tell yourself "it's only once." Really, when you want to cheat is probably the absolute worst time to cheat. You end up on a slippery slope where a cheat meal becomes a cheat day.

I'm a bigger fan of planning my cheat meals. It gives you something to look forward to, and keeps you on track the rest of the week.

Whatever you decide to do, just remember:

This is your now, this is will not be your forever.


Don't let stress (in my case) ruin your plan. Instead, plan ahead and stay on track. Remember that what you want is bigger than what you want right now. Save the cheat for something that's more satisfying than a cup of coffee and a lousy sandwich.