It's amazing isn't it? By others' standards I should be really proud of how far I've come. I went from curling 15 lbs as a working weight with cheat a year ago to 20 lbs clean. I can deadlift over 200 lbs when a year ago I barely knew what that even was.
Then why am I so disappointed? Why can I only focus on my current goal and not see how many other goals I've already accomplished? What is so hard about accepting what I have?
This doesn't just apply to my training either. My entire life tends to be like this. I teeter back and forth on the cusp of success and failure. The weirdest thing is I will always acknowledge my fear of failure, but sometimes I think I also fear success. It's as if the taste of success will be so sweet but, I know it comes with the warning of the fall that may come. I'm 99% sure this feeling isn't unique to me.
It's a balance game.
It's a challenge.
In my quest to obtain a greater understanding of myself, I have come to accept that I will always be a person that is chasing the next big goal, the next big shining achievement. And that's ok. However, I still need to learn to value the things I have already accomplished, and not take it all for granted.
I need to accept that fearing success and failure will only leave me paralyzed, unable to move forward in my progression and achieve the things I know I can achieve.
I accept that fear is normal. But fear will never define me.
Mirror, mirror, on the wall... Thank you for reminding me I am a smart, strong, and independent woman.
Mirror, mirror... Thank you for showing me I am only as strong as I allow myself to be.
It's a balance game.
It's a challenge.
In my quest to obtain a greater understanding of myself, I have come to accept that I will always be a person that is chasing the next big goal, the next big shining achievement. And that's ok. However, I still need to learn to value the things I have already accomplished, and not take it all for granted.
I need to accept that fearing success and failure will only leave me paralyzed, unable to move forward in my progression and achieve the things I know I can achieve.
I accept that fear is normal. But fear will never define me.
Mirror, mirror, on the wall... Thank you for reminding me I am a smart, strong, and independent woman.
Mirror, mirror... Thank you for showing me I am only as strong as I allow myself to be.
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